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in Features, Free Verse

A letter from my wife

Translated into Hindi by Ayesha Kidwai

byNazim Hikmet
September 8, 2023
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Nazim Hikmet and Vera Tulyakova

मेरी बीवी से एक ख़त
(अनुवाद: आयेशा किदवाई)

मैं
तुमसे पहले मरना चाहती हूँ.
तुम्हें क्या लगता हो की जो पीछे चलता है
पहले जाने वाले को खोज पाता है?
मुझे नहीं लगता
मुझे आग दिलवा देना
और अपने कमरें में रख लेना,
एक मर्तबान में.
आतिशदान के पास.
मर्तबान कांच का बनाना
शफ़्फ़ाफ़ शीशे का
ताकि तुम मुझे अंदर ताक सको…

मेरी क़ुरबानी देख रहे हो तुम
मैंने मट्टी से मिलन त्याग दिया
मैं फूल नहीं बनी
सिर्फ तुम्हारे पास रहने के लिए.

और अब मैं बनी हूँ धूल
तुम्हारे संग जीने के लिए.
बाद में, जब तुम भी चल बसो
तुम मेरे ही मर्तबान में आ जाना
साथ साथ ही रहेंगे हम दोनों
तुम्हारी राख मेरी राख में.

जब तक कोई बेपरवाह दुल्हन
या बिगड़ा हुआ पोता
हमें निकाल न फेंके.
पर तब
हम दोनों
एक दूसरे में
इतना घुल चुके होंगे
की जिस कूड़े में हमें फेंका जायेगा
हमारा एक एक अनासिर
एक दूसरे के बग़ल में गिरेगा

साथ साथ मिटटी में ग़ोता लगाएंगे हम दोनों.
और अगर एक दिन, कोई फूल
इस मिटटी से भरण पाकर, खिले
उस शाख़ पर, निश्चित है,
दो फूल होंगे:
एक तुम.
और एक मैं.

मैं
अभी मरने नहीं वाली हूँ
मुझे एक बच्चे को जनम देना है.
मुझ में ज़िन्दगी उमढ़ रही है.
मेरा खून गरम है.
मैं ज़िंदा रहूंगी
एक तवील, लम्बी ज़िन्दगी
और तुम्हारे ही साथ.
मुझे भी मौत का ख़ौफ़ नहीं.

मुझे
बस हमारे जनाज़े के इंतजामात पसंद नहीं हैं.
आशा है की मेरी मौत तक
यह बेहतर हो जायेंगे.
क्या तुम्हारी इस क़ैद से जल्द छूटने की कोई उम्मीद है?
मेरे अंदर एक आवाज़ कहती है:
शायद.


A letter from my wife
(
Nazim Hikmet)

I
want to die before you.
Do you think the one who follows
finds the one who went first?
I don’t think so.
It would be best to have me burned
and put in a jar
over your fireplace.
Make the jar
clear glass,
so you can watch me inside . . .

You see my sacrifice:
I give up being earth,
I give up being a flower,
just to stay near you.

And I become dust
to live with you.
Then, when you die,
you can come into my jar
and we’ll live together,
your ashes with mine,

until some dizzy bride
or wayward grandson
tosses us out . . .
But
by then
we’ll be
so mixed
together
that even at the dump our atoms
will fall side by side.

We’ll dive into the earth together.
And if one day a wild flower
finds water and springs up from that piece of earth,
its stem will have
two blooms for sure:
one will be you,
the other me.

I’m
not about to die yet.
I want to bear another child.
I’m brimming with life.
My blood is hot.
I’m going to live a long, long time–
and with you.
Death doesn’t scare me,

I just don’t find our funeral arrangements
too attractive.
But everything could change
before I die.
Any chance you’ll get out of prison soon?
Something inside me says:
Maybe.

Translated into English by Randy Blasing and Mutlu Konuk (1993)

First published by the translator on Ayesha Kidwai’s site. Reproduced here with her permission.
Poem © Nazim Hikmet / English translation © Randy Blasing and Mutlu Konuk / Hindi Translation © Ayesha Kidwai
Nazim Hikmet (Mehmed Nazim Ran, 15 January 1902 – 3 June 1963) is considered the first modern Turkish poet, and one of the great international poets of the twentieth century. Raised in Istanbul, Hikmet attended university in Moscow and met writers and artists from all over the world. After Turkish Independence in 1924, he returned to Turkey but was soon arrested for working on a leftist magazine. He managed to escape to Russia, where he continued to write plays and poems. He was repeatedly arrested for his political beliefs and spent much of his adult life in prison or in exile.
Ayesha Kidwai is a linguist who teaches at JNU, New Delhi. She translates between Hindi/Urdu and English bilingually.

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